Epilogue...

Hey bbgirl..
i hope you're doing well. I've been missing you too much all this time. How we used to be...
I'm sorry that i lost us. It's okay, i won't blame you for anything at all. I'm sorry for letting this happen...
I know i haven't been all that you could've hoped for. How stupid i was...how stupid i was...for letting us ending up like this.
I should be your keeper...i should be our keeper...but i failed you, i failed us....again 😔
How i wish i can have the chance to tell you that i want us back, right here...right now
Thinking about you have always been my daily routine okay :')
Remembering our memories, our moments..how we got along too well.
I still remember you confessing that you had a crush on me and that was the greatest thing that had ever happened in my life. From there on, we spent our times with endless texts. We got to know into each other...regardless of our situation, we endured it anyway.. It was us against the world, like nobody and absolutely nothing is ever going to stop us.
Feeling completed when we're together. We were into each other so much...how we had each other out.
Then something took a toll on us, we both know what that was...for more than a complete year, no goodbyes, no closure. I was consumed by fear after it happened. Deep inside, all my days were spent crying..crying out for you, screaming for you. Knowing that there's nothing i can do made me stumble, really hard. All i can tell myself is that maybe things are doing rougher for you, i just don't get to know about that. If it's true, i'm so sorry bbgirl for what you went through. And so i went with my panic and fear, not giving you any texts. Gave you a distance. The best i can do was just watching over you. Crushing on you in silent over and over again. Seeing your smiles. Whether it's in the office or when you were in the aircraft, recalling everything that we've done together while doing so. Smiled and cried myself afterwards, knowing how much i have been missing you. Feeling glad that you're doing well. Feeling so grateful that i still have the chance to see you even from a distance.
A year and a month went on and a huge surprise came into my messenger; you. You were inquiring me if i'm still mad at you.....baby girl, never have i ever getting mad at you, and never will i be..okay? :')
Mad respect from me towards you for approaching me like that 😭
It was something that i could do but i was afraid of..and again i'm sorry for that.
We started over...we started talking again...we were intact again.....we were attached again...pieces of us completed again. We started recreating our moments. Damn it, i swear we were in the universe of our own baby girl.
That was until..........you've made your discovery...i slipped....and there was absolutely nothing that i can ever do about it. I'm too far from stopping you, if only i have the power to do so, like forcing you to stay..? 😔
Up until now, i'm still hoping...i'm still wishing for you, for us to be back again. And i'm still going to believe it nonetheless.
Baby girl take care okay, be well. Your place will always remain inside here, in my heart. ❤️
I love you :')
x

the longer i stand here, the louder the silence....
i know that you're gone but sometimes i swear that i hear your voice when the wind blows..
so i talked to the shadows, hoping you might be listening.....

it's so loud inside my head, with words that i should have said as i drown in my regrets.